Apparently, March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Well, in your case, high school seniors, it might just stay a lion the entire time.
For college applicants, the process is almost over; there’s just one more hurdle—March. The majority of schools release their decisions in March, resulting in 31 days of universal pandemonium amongst high school seniors.
Before you throw that college vision board in the dumpster, let me remind you of how far you’ve come. It wasn’t too long ago that you were crying because you refused to go to first grade, and now you’re having a meltdown about the possibility of getting rejected by a college. Okay, so you need to put an end to the tears soon, but some progress has been made.
Luckily, I’m on spring break, so I’ve devoted all my time to writing this advice column in the all-inclusive, slice of suburban paradise—North Attleborough, Massachusetts.
Have no fear! I have created the official help guide to surviving the month of March.
Making It Through March: A survival guide for seniors
-For anything good to happen this month, you should start by lowering your expectations.
-Invest in a year’s supply of Kleenex. Useful for upcoming tears, good or bad (probably the latter), and the annual mysterious spring illness that you’ll try and convince yourself is not COVID-19.
-Decide how to make your college decision. We’re often told to “listen to our gut.” In my almost 19 years of living, I can confidently say that my gut has never served me well, especially at Thanksgiving in 2018. Let’s just say there was talk of salmonella.
-After picking a college, you will be required to place a hefty initial deposit. Where does this money go, you ask? I can only imagine it’s sent into an imaginary vat, never to be seen again. Or, more realistically, your hard-earned cash is transported to the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory, where it will morph into a personified blueberry.
-Start getting to work on those scholarships, which all have a cash prize that will barely cover the cost of one university textbook. Yes, in college, you have to pay for your homework.
-Disregard those who are telling you to relax, they’re only bringing you down. If you’re not stressed, then something is wrong. This might not be my greatest tip, considering that during my senior year, I was fairly confident I had developed a stress-induced ulcer, diagnosed by Stanford Health (well, through their website and diagnosed by me). So, maybe you should stop reading this advice column.
Hopefully, you took away something marginally helpful in this month’s column, and if not, then obviously, I have failed.
Thank you for making it through yet another Life After North column, and I wish you all the best with your remaining college decisions. I promise you the end is near, well, unless you get waitlisted. I’ll see you next month!
